CAD/CAM - international magazine of digital dentistry

Fig. 5 Fig. 4 30 I I special _ public speaking _Connection Atthebaseofthepyramidisconnection,themost fundamental aspect to creating peaks of attention (Fig. 4). Connection is when the listener feels he or sheishavingapersonalrelationshipwithyou.When a listener feels you are connecting with him or her, his or her attention naturally peaks. There are two ways to connect with listeners: eye connection and disclosure. Punctuatedeyeconnection Let us start by discussing punctuated eye con- nection when speaking to a group. Punctuated eye connection is a process where your eye contact with your listeners is linked to the punctuation of your sentence structure. Eye contact is held with an in- dividual listener through an entire thought. It might be a few sentences or an entire paragraph. Then, when the thought is complete, change eye contact toanotherlisteneratthepunctuationmark:aperiod, a comma, colon or semi-colon, or a new paragraph. Too many speakers do not link their eye connec- tion with their thought structure. They spray their eye contact around the room, never making mean- ingful connection. This distances the speakers from their listeners, thereby minimising the speakers’ influence. Disclosure Disclosure is the experience of the listener when he or she discovers a bit of who you are aside from your role as an expert. Disclosure reveals your sec- ondary roles, husband, wife, son, daughter, golfer, hobbies, family, cat lover or Chicago Bears fan. The truth is that you and your listeners are more alike than different. Revealing your sameness is engaging and highly interesting to listeners. You usually have more in common with listeners in your secondary roles than your primary role. It is the “in-common” bit that listeners feel, creating the positive experience of connection. Consequently, listeners frequently find experts more interesting in their secondary roles than in their primary role. Looking at the “in-common” experience a little more closely, why do listeners find an expert’s sec- ondary roles so interesting? Because it is in these roles the listener can see a bit of himself or herself, andseeingoneselfisalwaysinteresting.Seeingone- selfinanexpertleadstosomeremarkableoutcomes. From the listener’s point of view, seeing himself or herself in the speaker/expert boosts the believability of the expert—seeing leads to believing. Disclosureandstorytelling Story telling is the most powerful technique of disclosure. Stories offer the most complete way for listeners to learn who you are beyond your primary role. Here is a good example: Sometimes during workshops I tell a simple story about spending a week at a professional water-ski school, the Benzel Ski Center in Groveland, Florida. It is run by Dave Benzel (six-time world champion) and his wife Cindy (three-time world champion). During the story, I mention that we skied all week being yanked around by muscular, Master Craft competition ski boats on slick ski ponds. The point of the story is how Dave Benzel thinks about winning —“make winning a familiar experience”. During a break after telling this story, a woman attendee approaches, throws her arms around me, hugs me hard and says with weepy eyes, “Oh Dr Homoly, I just loved your water-ski story!” “What did youlikeaboutit?”Iasked.Itisalwaysagoodpractice to learn why someone likes you. “Master Crafts! You skied behind Master Crafts”, she cried. “My brother CAD/CAM 3_2011